Do you know someone you would like to change and regulate and improve? Good! That is fine. I am all in favor of it. But why not begin on yourself?

-Dale Carnegie

The best place to look for change is within. It’s the only place where we can have total influence. And all of us have plenty of things to work on. If we want to have great relationships, we’ve got to cut back on the criticism.

Again in “How To Win Friends and Influence People,” Dale Carnegie writes,

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain - and most fools do.

But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.

“A great man shows his greatness,” said Carlyle. “by the way he treats little men.”

I can personally say that my opinion of someone has never been raised by their ability to criticize me. The men and women I respect most generally seem to see and talk only about the good in others.

Nobody really enjoys being corrected or criticized, and just a little bit of criticism can cause a lot of damage.

And so for me, the the biggest reason not to criticize someone is:

It doesn’t work.

It doesn’t even really make me feel better, let alone correct the problem. There are always better ways of motivating someone.